the little candidate that could.

The French elections are approaching, people! And things are starting to happen. Namely that they are so much a part of my daily life that the other night I actually had a dream in which I discussed the possibility and implications of the centre candidate, Francois Bayrou, making it to the second round. I have no idea how much coverage these elections are getting outside of Europe, but I would imagine that North America will start hearing about them a lot more in the next few weeks. Here's why:

There are usually three major candidates, and a plethora of others who just use presidential elections to voice their grievances. These smaller candidates cover an incredible spectrum of political views (ex: Jose Bove, the guy who burned the McDonalds. Or Besancenot...a postman) but they really don't matter much. You might remember the last time around, the right-wing Front National led by Le Pen made it to the second round and it was a huge embarassment because it essentially announced to the world that a certain proportion of the French population is racist and/or anti-semitic and/or xenophobic and/or easily brainwashed. Mercifully, Le Pen is still scrambling to get his 500 mayor signatures so that he can officially launch his campaign. Up until last week, the race was basically between Nicolas Sarkozy (UMP) and Segolene Royal (Socialist party)...but a third candidate has slowly been gaining ground. And then this weekend it was announced that Francois Bayrou of the UDF (centre) has caught up to Segolene in the opinion polls, with Sarkozy a mere 5 points ahead of both. The implications of this are huge.

First of all, it means that the French are confused and have no idea who to vote for. Bayrou has trouble speaking proper French. I am starting to wonder if he's doing it on purpose.

Secondly, he has no political plan to speak of. I'm pretty sure his campaign platform consists of trying to convince us that he's not as scary and authoritarian as Sarkozy, and moderately more intelligent than Segolene, whose idiocy has become caricatural.

And finally, this means that maybe these elections will finally start to heat up. Although there is no discernable "campaign issue" to speak of. No war of words over gay marriage, abortion or foreign policy. No mud-slinging other than the occasional accusation of tax fraud (yawn). And sadly, no accusations of past drug-use or extra-marital affairs. These elections are too tame for my liking. Something's gotta give!