things that suck

Because i'm feeling so positive these days:

1) Segways. Who is the retard who invented this? (Wikipedia tells me his name is Dean Kamen) It has got to be up there in the Top 10 list of most ridiculous inventions of the 21st century.

2) The people who use Segways. The Segway is stupid, therefore an individual who chooses it as a mode of transportation is equally stupid. Now that the weather is getting nicer and the tourists are once again overtaking Paris, my neighbourhood is literally teeming with these idiots humming around on their Segways. Tour groups are already annoying, but the annoyance factor goes through the roof once you stick them on a Segway with a helmet (yes apparently you need protective head gear) and fluorescent yellow vests.

Sidenote: Last September as I was leaving my building, a group of aforementioned idiots were crossing the street onto the sidewalk I was on. The gods must have been smiling down on me that day because the moment I had been waiting for for so long finally occured. A middle-aged american tourist was hurrying in order to avoid being hit by traffic. He was clearly labouring under the impression that a Segway is an all-terrain device, so he proceeded to ram full speed into the curb and completely eat pavement right in front of me while his Segway made bizarre buzzing sounds and tried to stay upright. The hilarity of the situation was so incredible (especially when his overweight wife started yelling "oh my GAWD honey are you alright?!?") that I didn't even try to suppress my laughter and immediately sent text messages to everyone I knew telling them about what I had just witnessed.

3) School until July. I don't get out of class until mid-June. And then I have my final oral exams in July. The better the weather gets, the more depressed I am at the thought of being stuck in class when it's 30 degrees outside. It hit me pretty hard today when the first Respect is Burning party was announced for June 4th. I will still have a full month of school left. Gasp.

4) My oral exam subject. La neutralite a-t-elle un sens? Balls.

the Republic of Kazantip

Forget Ibiza, the new place to be this summer for all-night parties is...the fictional republic of Kazantip. Every year, this month-long rave changes location, to a new spot along the southern coast of Ukraine, on the Black Sea. One time it was held at a deserted nuclear power plant. Last year it was held on an old army base. The idea is simple: for one month, an autonomous republic is founded. The organizers all hold a position within the fictional government. The event is overseen by a self-elected president (President Nikita), and the rules and regulations are drawn out in a constitution. Of course, there aren't really many rules and regulations. It's essentially a month-long orgy of booze, electronic music and debauchery. It's the most random mix of beautiful women, eccentrics and russian mafiosos. Check out the Vice documentary here.

bubble girl

Well my immune system has officially shut down. I am sick for the third time since the beginning of March. Perhaps it would be deserved if I had been partying non-stop for the last two weeks, but instead I was going to bed relatively early, exercising every day, and staying home on the weekends. So WTF. And now, the last two weeks of physical training are going to go out the window and I have to start from scratch...again.

My Friday night was cut short by the fit that my stomach decided to have after eating the best couscous in town. I managed to suck it up for the duration of the Feadz set, but had to scram before MSTRKRFT came on, which is a bummer because I was curious to see what they're spinning these days. Now my goal is to will myself back to good health in time for Cut Killer on Thursday night, and this: